Hi! Welcome to the Breastfeed, Chicago! blog! I am going to assume that if you are here, it is because you are someone who breastfeeds your child or is interested in breastfeeding. Who knows, maybe you just typed “breasts AND Chicago” into Google and ended up here. In any case, this is a fantastic blog to support breastfeeding in our city.
If you are like me, you are very passionate about breastfeeding and are often disillusioned by today’s media and society that seem to side with the “stay at home or give your kid a bottle” mentality. (Let me just let out a little “ugh!!!” for you all.) I know there will be many posts on this blog regarding all the wonderful aspects of breastfeeding, why it is best for babies, and why you should do it unabashedly whenever and wherever you please. Today, however, I am going to step back from the seriousness of breastfeeding and visit the lighter side. Breastfeeding is awesome, in every way, shape, and form. Breast milk IS best. But let’s face it…sometimes you just need to have a sense of humor. So I present to you a small list I have complied based on my personal experiences entitled,
You know you are a breastfeeding mom when…
Your husband thinks it’s funny to teach your two-year old to “moo” at you.
You have completely forgotten what underwire is. That’s like how the cable tv gets into the house, right?
You go to grab a coaster for a guest and realize it’s a nursing pad.
Your 2 year old knows that the baby eats milk…and it comes from the “boo-boos.” And, she takes the opportunity to show you (and anyone else who would like to see) her boo-boos…and her baby brother’s.
The UPS man comes to the door and you are this close to opening it, when you realize your shirt is still up around your chest. Oops.
You have serious concerns about the amount of breastmilk that has been inadvertently squirted into your child’s eye. So much so that “breast milk in eye” may or may not show up on your past Google searches. (Raise your hand if you knew it could help cure an eye infection!)
You’d rather lose your wedding ring than spill a bottle of pumped milk. Insurance covers the ring…that liquid gold is gone forever. (I wince even thinking of this…)
You are often referred to as “the milk truck.” As in, “Don’t cry baby, here comes the milk truck!”
Pumping 4 oz. of milk in one sitting just might be cause for a victory dance…
You know that fenugreek has nothing to do with frat parties and that when people are talking about the “dom” it’s not a nice bottle of champagne you drink once a year on New Years or your anniversary.
You get to field questions about your activities, like when my 5-year old niece (after thinking long and hard about what she was witnessing) asked, “Why is he sucking on your BOOB!???”
Hearing a sob story about the woman with the overage problem who pumped 20-some oz. in one sitting doesn’t make you feel sorry for her. In fact, it kind of makes you want to punch her. Or just rob her house of her freezer stash.
Your biggest accomplishment in the last three months is not a big work project, but that you have successfully figured out how to nurse your baby, one handed, while making dinner, talking on the phone, and entertaining your other child. Rock star!
When people see your son and say, “BIG Boy!!” you get all happy and smiley because it’s all YOU. Go you! Go your boobs!
You are forced to answer questions like, “How long are you planning on nursing that child?” with totally clever responses such as, “well, I suppose it might be a little awkward when he goes off to college.”
What about you? What are some funny stories that you could add to this list? I’d love to hear them!
Emily (last name withheld for privacy reasons) is a teacher in the Chicagoland area. She has a two year old daughter who was breastfed until she self-weaned at 13 months and a 3 month old son who will breastfeed until he decides he is ready to stop…or goes to college, whichever comes first. You can read more about her life on her blog “justem” (link = http://justem.typepad.com), which is a private blog, but she’ll give you the password if you ask nicely! 😉