You know you’re a breastfeeding mom when…

Hi! Welcome to the Breastfeed, Chicago! blog! I am going to assume that if you are here, it is because you are someone who breastfeeds your child or is interested in breastfeeding.  Who knows, maybe you just typed “breasts AND Chicago” into Google and ended up here. In any case, this is a fantastic blog to support breastfeeding in our city.

If you are like me, you are very passionate about breastfeeding and are often disillusioned by today’s media and society that seem to side with the “stay at home or give your kid a bottle” mentality.  (Let me just let out a little “ugh!!!” for you all.)  I know there will be many posts on this blog regarding all the wonderful aspects of breastfeeding, why it is best for babies, and why you should do it unabashedly whenever and wherever you please.  Today, however, I am going to step back from the seriousness of breastfeeding and visit the lighter side.  Breastfeeding is awesome, in every way, shape, and form.  Breast milk IS best.  But let’s face it…sometimes you just need to have a sense of humor.  So I present to you a small list I have complied based on my personal experiences entitled,

You know you are a breastfeeding mom when…

Your husband thinks it’s funny to teach your two-year old to “moo” at you.

You have completely forgotten what underwire is.  That’s like how the cable tv gets into the house, right?

You go to grab a coaster for a guest and realize it’s a nursing pad.

Your 2 year old knows that the baby eats milk…and it comes from the “boo-boos.”  And, she takes the opportunity to show you (and anyone else who would like to see) her boo-boos…and her baby brother’s.

While walking past the breast pumps at Target your daughter starts pointing and excitedly yells out, “That’s the Mama’s!!!”

The UPS man comes to the door and you are this close to opening it, when you realize your shirt is still up around your chest. Oops.

You have serious concerns about the amount of breastmilk that has been inadvertently squirted into your child’s eye.  So much so that “breast milk in eye” may or may not show up on your past Google searches. (Raise your hand if you knew it could help cure an eye infection!)

You’d rather lose your wedding ring than spill a bottle of pumped milk.  Insurance covers the ring…that liquid gold is gone forever. (I wince even thinking of this…)

Your daughter thinks her little play sliced tomato is a nursing pad…and attempts to stick it down your shirt for you every chance she gets.

You are often referred to as “the milk truck.” As in, “Don’t cry baby, here comes the milk truck!”

Pumping 4 oz. of milk in one sitting just might be cause for a victory dance…

You know that fenugreek has nothing to do with frat parties and that when people are talking about the “dom” it’s not a nice bottle of champagne you drink once a year on New Years or your anniversary.

You get to field questions about your activities, like when my 5-year old niece (after thinking long and hard about what she was witnessing) asked, “Why is he sucking on your BOOB!???”

Hearing a sob story about the woman with the overage problem who pumped 20-some oz. in one sitting doesn’t make you feel sorry for her. In fact, it kind of makes you want to punch her. Or just rob her house of her freezer stash.

You have to bring a change of clothes with you everywhere…not because there is a chance your newborn will poop or spit up on you, but because of this…

Your biggest accomplishment in the last three months is not a big work project, but that you have successfully figured out how to nurse your baby, one handed, while making dinner, talking on the phone, and entertaining your other child.  Rock star!

When people see your son and say, “BIG Boy!!” you get all happy and smiley because it’s all YOU.  Go you! Go your boobs!

You are forced to answer questions like, “How long are you planning on nursing that child?” with totally clever responses such as, “well, I suppose it might be a little awkward when he goes off to college.”

What about you?  What are some funny stories that you could add to this list? I’d love to hear them!

Emily (last name withheld for privacy reasons) is a teacher in the Chicagoland area. She has a two year old daughter who was breastfed until she self-weaned at 13 months and a 3 month old son who will breastfeed until he decides he is ready to stop…or goes to college, whichever comes first.  You can read more about her life on her blog “justem” (link = http://justem.typepad.com), which is a private blog, but she’ll give you the password if you ask nicely! 😉

18 thoughts on “You know you’re a breastfeeding mom when…

  1. You know you’re a breastfeeding mom when…

    You feel yourself up because you’ve forgotten which side you nursed on last!

    You have become an expert in one-handed typing, and the less your baby nurses, the fewer posts you have on Facebook.

  2. You know you’re a breastfeeding mom when…

    your 3 year old says “You smell like milk!!” when you go into her room in the morning!

  3. You know you’re the childless friend of a nursing mom when. . .
    you are able to laugh at (almost all) the breastfeeding humor.

  4. Love it! You know you’re a breastfeeding mom when your kid is signing like crazy for milk, but strangers just think she’s waving 🙂

  5. You know you’re a breastfeeding mom when…

    Someone asks your 3 year old if she feeds her baby doll and she lifts her own shirt and puts her baby doll to her “breast”.

  6. Wow, Julie! Where’s the “how to” on that one?

    You know you’re a bf mom when you baby tries to unhook your bra and almost gets it.

  7. I love this blog, very funny, I breastfed my daugher until she was nearly 4 years old, she just would not give it up especially at bedtime, in the end I’m sorry to say I had to be really evil, I sprayed deodorant on my nipples and told her it had gone bad and she was happy with that lol.

  8. how about your know you’re a breast feeding mama when you go shopping and you only buy tops that have boob access! ha!
    aww, great post em! makes me miss nursing my babies! means i need another one 😉

  9. You know you’re a breastfeeding mommie when…

    …your 5 year old nephew walks into the room while you’re breastfeeding your 1 year old and asks if “that” is where you keep his milk; then proceeds to tell you that he keeps his in the fridge.

    … your 2 yo son knows that women have nay-nays and men only have nipples.

    … while holding a friend’s baby who starts to fuss, your first instinct is to unclip your bra.

    … a friend mentions that they feel let down and your boobs start to feel itchy.

  10. You know you’re a breastfeeding mom when you look longingly at all these pretty dresses and remind yourself you have to wait till Junior is dine breastfeeding.

    when you have to leave the floor every four hours at work to pump.

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